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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:12 am 
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What's the difference between soccer and war?


In soccer, the Germans can hold their big second half lead.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2014 2:02 am 
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It was Mick Jagger's fault !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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And the result was emphatic enough to make a believer in occult out of anyone.

:shock: :shock:


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2014 4:22 pm 
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Quote:
After suffering an apparent concussion during the first half of Wednesday's semifinal, an injury that should have seen him taken off for the rest of the match, Mascherano went on to tear his anus late in extra-time. Booking a ticket to the World Cup Final is a dream for any soccer player, but a concussion and a torn anus are a heavy price to pay


Jeezus. I remember an NHLer had the same injury.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 7:07 am 
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OMG OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The World Cup Final is between countries that have a living Pope !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Think about it.

:shock: :shock:


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 10:13 am 
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I wonder who Martin Bormann will be cheering for?


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 4:23 pm 
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2 1

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 Post subject: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 4:52 pm 
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Without the tits that could be 2/5 of an 80's rock band.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:04 pm 
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The family of Adolf Eichmann is bittersweet about a match featuring both their countries, Argentina and Germany. :rotfl:

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:20 pm 
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I'm just glad it's over. Soccer sucks.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:21 pm 
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JohnHarrison wrote:
The family of Adolf Eichmann is bittersweet about a match featuring both their countries, Argentina and Germany. :rotfl:

Image wrote:
Ooh that was good.

That was very, very good.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:33 pm 
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Swallow Bull Sperm wrote:
I'm just glad it's over. Soccer sucks.

I admit to having watched it. First soccer game I've seen from start to finish in probably 15 years. Will be the last for at least a decade.

Couple thoughts:

Offsides is fukken retarded. Draw two lines on the field, and the rule is: You can't cross THIS line (the more forward one), until the ball crosses THIS line. When all the dudes on both teams are right down near the goal, there should be no more offsides bullshit. A guy 4' from the goal should not be getting an offsides call.

Flopping. If you hit the ground, and stay there for more than 2 seconds you get a lavender card. 4 lavender cards in a game turns into a yellow card. Don't be writhing around on the ground when you get outplayed, you fucking pussies. If you're truly hurt, that's fine. You still get a lavender card. Two yellow cards, and you're out of the game. Don't hit the ground and cry unless you're truly in pain. Get ground-writhingly hurt more than 7 times in a game, and you should probably hit the bench anyhow. Buck up, pansies.

Shorten the goddamned field, cut the number of players on said field, and allow more substitutions. Holy shit that grass is huge, but still somehow gets stupid crowded. Allow rolling subs like in hockey. A team could shift to a more offensive strategy with quick strikers, and then beef up their defense with some bruisers five minutes later. That would add an interesting dynamic in itself. Should Coach A risk a three-man substitution with the ball on the other side of the field. The transition would take 10 seconds, but that 10 seconds could be disastrous if Team B make a break for the goal.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 7:15 pm 
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HighPlainsGrifter wrote:
JohnHarrison wrote:
The family of Adolf Eichmann is bittersweet about a match featuring both their countries, Argentina and Germany. :rotfl:

Image wrote:
Ooh that was good.

That was very, very good.


Nein...uh uh..NO! Mein name ist Ricardo Klement. I uwn der rabbit garten ein Argentina. Yes, that's it! Rabbits.
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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 8:11 pm 
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Am I the only one who didn't watch one single second of that tournament?

I was actually glad that USA got eliminated. This way it wouldn't have been forced down our throats and it proves even more that we are not a soccer nation despite the losers who claim they actually cared!

Neeeexxxxtttt.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 3:00 am 
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d-townmike wrote:
Am I the only one who didn't watch one single second of that tournament?

I was actually glad that USA got eliminated. This way it wouldn't have been forced down our throats and it proves even more that we are not a soccer nation despite the losers who claim they actually cared!

Neeeexxxxtttt.


Same here, not a single second. Even if FIFA or FLUFFER or whatever the governing body is adopted all of HPG's rackable modifications I don't know if I could get into it.



velocet


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:51 am 
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Jim and mvscal might get pissy over this but I found it to be slightly amusing.

If everyday people reacted to contact like soccer players:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rvsuYssoTw0

:lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 5:30 am 
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d-townmike wrote:
This way it wouldn't have been forced down our throats



This is one of your most overused phrases. What, exactly, does it mean to you to have something forced down your throat (metaphorically of course).

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DMike316 wrote:
Again, if the oppurtunity should present itself, make sure you respectfully lower your penis into her vagina as opposed to just jamming it in there like a Zionist.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 5:51 am 
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HighPlainsGrifter wrote:
Couple thoughts:

Offsides is fukken retarded. Draw two lines on the field, and the rule is: You can't cross THIS line (the more forward one), until the ball crosses THIS line. When all the dudes on both teams are right down near the goal, there should be no more offsides bullshit. A guy 4' from the goal should not be getting an offsides call.


I totally agree. So do a lot of other people. I think a hockey style offsides rule would work very well in soccer.

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Flopping. If you hit the ground, and stay there for more than 2 seconds you get a lavender card. 4 lavender cards in a game turns into a yellow card. Don't be writhing around on the ground when you get outplayed, you fucking pussies. If you're truly hurt, that's fine. You still get a lavender card. Two yellow cards, and you're out of the game.


There has been a lot of pushback to crack down on that and recent rules changes allow for a ref to yellow card a player for flopping. So, in this case, the rule in place is more severe than you what you suggest.

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Shorten the goddamned field, cut the number of players on said field, and allow more substitutions.


No, no and absolutely. Substitutions should be unlimited. That change alone would eliminate a lot of flopping, IMO. I think a lot of it is done to allow these guys to catch a breath. I don't care how well conditioned an athlete you are, no time outs and no substitutions will break you down.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2014 8:22 am 
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mvscal, did you watch the HR Derby last night? I bet you haven't seen that many long balls in one night since you last used the men's locker room on Fire Island.


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