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 Post subject: Soccer
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 9:42 am 
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Ann Coulter doesn't like it very much. Rack her. :cheers:

AMERICA'S FAVORITE NATIONAL PASTIME: HATING SOCCER

June 25, 2014

I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade -- or about the length of the average soccer game -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay. :lol:


(1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls -- all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.


In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms."


Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild. I'm already asleep.


(2) Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.


(3) No other "sport" ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer. This was an actual marquee sign by the freeway in Long Beach, California, about a World Cup game last week: "2nd period, 11 minutes left, score: 0:0." Two hours later, another World Cup game was on the same screen: "1st period, 8 minutes left, score: 0:0." If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he'd still be alive, although bored.


Even in football, by which I mean football, there are very few scoreless ties -- and it's a lot harder to score when a half-dozen 300-pound bruisers are trying to crush you.


(4) The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare. As Lady Thatcher reportedly said after Germany had beaten England in some major soccer game: Don't worry. After all, twice in this century we beat them at their national game.



Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game -- and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box.


(5) You can't use your hands in soccer. (Thus eliminating the danger of having to catch a fly ball.) What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here's a great idea: Let's create a game where you're not allowed to use them!


(6) I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating.


I note that we don't have to be endlessly told how exciting football is.


(7) It's foreign. In fact, that's the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it.


(8) Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.


Despite being subjected to Chinese-style brainwashing in the public schools to use centimeters and Celsius, ask any American for the temperature, and he'll say something like "70 degrees." Ask how far Boston is from New York City, he'll say it's about 200 miles.


Liberals get angry and tell us that the metric system is more "rational" than the measurements everyone understands. This is ridiculous. An inch is the width of a man's thumb, a foot the length of his foot, a yard the length of his belt. That's easy to visualize. How do you visualize 147.2 centimeters?


(9) Soccer is not "catching on." Headlines this week proclaimed "Record U.S. ratings for World Cup," and we had to hear -- again -- about the "growing popularity of soccer in the United States."


The USA-Portugal game was the blockbuster match, garnering 18.2 million viewers on ESPN. This beat the second-most watched soccer game ever: The 1999 Women's World Cup final (USA vs. China) on ABC. (In soccer, the women's games are as thrilling as the men's.)


Run-of-the-mill, regular-season Sunday Night Football games average more than 20 million viewers; NFL playoff games get 30 to 40 million viewers; and this year's Super Bowl had 111.5 million viewers.


Remember when the media tried to foist British soccer star David Beckham and his permanently camera-ready wife on us a few years ago? Their arrival in America was heralded with 24-7 news coverage. That lasted about two days. Ratings tanked. No one cared.


If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:21 am 
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Rack Coulter. I need to read her more often.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:35 am 
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Fukking BOOM!

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:48 pm 
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I love how Ann gets under the lib's skin. I really really tried to "get" soccer, but it eludes me.
The metric system forced mechanics to have 2 sets of tools. Great for the tool makers. A pain in the ass for the do-it-yourselfer when a 7/16" socket will not work well on a Jap part. In the Army we used metric, I'd simply make a quick conversion from yards like on a football field to meters when say calling in some artillery. Working in entomology research I had to make all notes in metric, really not much of an issue for me.
Remember going to a nephew's wedding in Canada years back and seeing a speed limit sign on the QEW of 100. 100 !!??? I'm thinking why bother posting a pseed limit at all. Then it dawned on my that it was KM/HR. Yup. It's still annoying when I travel up there. My brother in law told me they went out one night and slapped stick on posters over the speed limit signs. Later they replaced them with permanent ones.
The US actually had a thought, then wisely decided it was not worth the cost. Lucky for us so far that even Obama and company haven't gone down that road.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 5:03 pm 
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With soccer there's really nothing to "get," it's hockey without ice or sticks, and the ball is the puck. Oh, and without the violence. So yeah, it's boring as hell.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 5:51 pm 
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Not a fan of hers and this article is pretty stupid.

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 Post subject: Soccer
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 8:31 pm 
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I'm interested in hearing jim make soccer sound exciting.

Whenever you're ready, jim.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 3:11 am 
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Quote:
Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

Absolutely.

Soccer is loved by libtards and third world dirt-eaters at risk of being devoured by Bengal Tigers.

Amerika is skrewed.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 3:20 am 
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I just got to wondering if they played soccer like a half court game with each team on offense for 10 minutes or so. Would there be more scoring? There certainly would be more shots on goal.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 3:23 am 
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Rack that bitch Coulter.

Un-rack American soccer chicks.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 3:37 am 
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Rack Coulter. Cut and paste this article and post it on facebook and watch all the dipshits there start crying. I'm sick and tired of people talking about it. The only international sporting event that brings us together is the Olympics every four years, and that's only two solid compact weeks where we're tuned in every night and morning to flog our dicks to women's synchronized diving, volleyball, that twirling baton sport, and women's gymnastics.

This is just a month+ of pure hell.

Fuck everyone who tries to force soccer on us and especially fuck the hipster sheep who jump in and encourage it. Soccer sucks buffalo penis.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:09 am 
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HighPlainsGrifter wrote:
I'm interested in hearing jim make soccer sound exciting.

Whenever you're ready, jim.


Coulter's just doing what she's does best which is to take an adversarial position on something popular, trash it with little to no real substance and get people to talk about her article.

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Again, if the oppurtunity should present itself, make sure you respectfully lower your penis into her vagina as opposed to just jamming it in there like a Zionist.


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 Post subject: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:00 am 
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Any time you're ready, Jim.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:14 am 
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Saying that the World Cup ratings don't match the NFL ratings isn't really disproving that ESPN is having a successful broadcast of the World Cup.

I actually like the World Cup, but am not a "soccer fan." A little variety every four years is nice, especially during this part of the sports calendar. Having said that, it's highly unlikely that I will watch any MLS between now and the next World Cup.

It's like the Olympics, a little change of pace every so often in my sports viewing.

One thing I really do like about soccer is that for the most part it is exactly two hours. It doesn't drag on endlessly like some college football games and most baseball games. It doesn't eat your entire afternoon.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:34 am 
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Be it soccer, women's field hockey, bowling, or any other minor sport, if there is a Team USA involved, then I want us to win the damn thing. So while I won't be watching MLS games, I will watch the Team USA games during the World Cup.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:42 am 
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Third World Cup :jo:


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:57 am 
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jim wrote:
Not a fan of hers and this article is pretty stupid.


Yep. It's an idiotic troll job by a desperate attention whore.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:21 am 
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Jsc810 wrote:
Be it soccer, women's field hockey, bowling, or any other minor sport, if there is a Team USA involved, then I want us to win the damn thing. So while I won't be watching MLS games, I will watch the Team USA games during the World Cup.

This.

Associating with a winning team makes life better.

...but dems, fags, and EBT abusers are NOT winners.


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:28 am 
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kcdave wrote:
Rack that bitch Coulter.

Un-rack American soccer chicks.

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:yuck:

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:00 am 
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HighPlainsGrifter wrote:
Any time you're ready, Jim.



For what? You don't find soccer exciting. I have no problem with that. But if your anti-soccer talking points are the same ones as that fugly brainless twat you might want to re-examine the other major sports as well. They all have elements of dull play, especially baseball.

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Again, if the oppurtunity should present itself, make sure you respectfully lower your penis into her vagina as opposed to just jamming it in there like a Zionist.


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 Post subject: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:01 am 
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Take your time, Jim. Soccer is so exciting it's hard to choose just a few points. Just your best.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:05 am 
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I'm with Carson, Jim & JSPron here

Yesteday I also watched the Brazil / Chile and the first half was easily the best soccer I've ever seen ball was flying up and down the field and lots of scoring chances

After the WC is over, I probably won't see another game for 4 years


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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:55 am 
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Mexico just snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:19 am 
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jim wrote:
They all have elements of dull play, especially baseball.


I'll take this one.

While baseball may seem slow, especially with a slow working pitcher on the mound, the thing is this, with each and every pitch you have the potential for something to happen...a home run, hit batter, running catch in the gap robbing someone of extra bases...whatever. It may very well just be high and outside on a 2-1 count with no outs and non runners on base...but something might just happen with that pitch.

When a dozen guys are kicking a soccer ball around at midfield for 87 minutes, there is zero probability that a score or great defensive play may occur. It's hackey sack with brighter clothes.

There is also the strategy aspect. Where to align your fielders with runners on base or for certain types of hitters, what pitch to call on certain counts, when to attempt a steal, subbing for pitching match ups...there is a lot going on inside the game. I love trying to guess what pitches will be called and what moves managers may make.

Maybe this is where Americans have a failure to "understand" soccer. I don't know but I am all ears as it all seems pretty random to me.

Thanks for taking my call.

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 Post subject: Re: Soccer
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:21 am 
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HighPlainsGrifter wrote:
Take your time, Jim. Soccer is so exciting it's hard to choose just a few points. Just your best.


It's a game of speed, skill, creativity and endurance and from those traits you get exciting plays like this



and this



and this



and this



and shit load more.



It's ok though, dude. It's not for everyone. The difference is I'm not trying to convince everyone it is exciting and you're racking a shitty column from a dumb blond who likely has an equally vacant understanding of football and baseball but knows it would alienate 2/3 of her knuckle dragging audience.

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