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 Post subject: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 3:09 pm 
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Over the years, I have given YAFJ shit over his fondness for fat women. I just didn't get it.

Last night, I fucked one, and now I get it. YAFJ, I'm sorry. You were right and I was wrong.

About a week ago I ran into my friend Mike, who I've written about before, and yes, he was with yet another woman he picked up off of one of the dating websites. So following his example, I did it. I created a very basic profile, didn't even put my photo up, and said that all I wanted was sex, no dating or relationship at all. I really didn't expect much.

I was wrong. Within a day of having it up, I get this email from a woman in LaPlace, which is fairly close to New Orleans. She's 42, and her profile reads like the Facebook woman we've been talking about here, she's looking for a meaningful relationship with the man of her dreams that will lead to marriage, blah blah blah. But in her email all she's talking about is sex, wanting to know how big my cock is, and whether I can last a long time. So yeah, I respond to her, we exchange a couple of emails and then she invites me to her place for Saturday "to see if there's any chemistry there."

I drove down there about 9:30 last night not really knowing what to expect but hoping for the best. She's waiting for me outside her house drinking wine and with a glass for me. She looks kinda like a MILF version of Monica Lewinsky with these HUGE tits, I mean HUGE. We go inside, and I'm just inside the door and she says "well I need to find out." Literally seconds after I'm in the house, she drops to her knees and starts blowing me. Blowing me doesn't begin to properly describe it, she was attacking my cock with her mouth, gagging herself and going for more.

And then she starts playing with her huge tits and fingering herself, still trying to swallow my cock. It was pretty amazing to experience, but she was just getting started. It was obvious she was getting herself off in a big way, and then she said she wanted a vibrator. Thinking she had one in her bedroom, I said sure let's get it. Alas, she lost hers along with most of her house in one of the hurricanes, so could we go to the store and get one. She had made an impression on me and I was curious about what might happen next, so I agreed to go with her to the store to get a vibrator. Didn't know what store or where we were going, but she seemed to know and seemed really happy, so off we go.

To be continued........

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 4:07 pm 
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It's approximately 40.3 miles from Tigrdogs house to Laplace, be expecting a call for directions soon :rotfl:


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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 4:09 pm 
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Cuing imaginary girl friend posts. Let me say this. I sense something is wrong with this lady. I'd avoid her. Someone told me about women like that.

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 4:29 pm 
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I have written the next part but am getting a fucking error message when I try to post it. Can I emaik it to someone and maybe you can post it?

sotherneagle, I was totally lost. No way I could find that place again.

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 4:57 pm 
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I'm sure her e-mail addy would be fine for him :D


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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 5:09 pm 
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I'm only getting started with this story, she's a real piece of work. And remember, on her profile she talks about how she wants a gentleman to respect her, and treat her with kindness in a long term relationship before one day getting married and living as soul mates happily ever after.

I can't even PM what I wrote because the Alliance has raped this place and I'm getting error messages. Someone please post their email addy and let me send it to you, hopefully you'll be able to get it to post, thanks.

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 5:39 pm 
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Jsc810 wrote:
I have written the next part but am getting a fucking error message when I try to post it. Can I emaik it to someone and maybe you can post it?


Something about phpbb3 (recent versions) make certain words '404' out or whatever. I don't know why, I just noticed this happening after one of their "upgrades." :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:40 pm 
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I thought you were married. Divorced?


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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:45 pm 
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Jsc810 wrote:
I'm only getting started with this story, she's a real piece of work. And remember, on her profile she talks about how she wants a gentleman to respect her, and treat her with kindness in a long term relationship before one day getting married and living as soul mates happily ever after.


Dude she says this but then remembers who she is and knows she has to bust her ASS to get people just to come bang her.

Did she straddle you and lick her own nipples? You'll never see "skinny" chicks do this. Big women make the most of everything and will do NASTY stuff. You will NEVER hear them say "wait" or "what are you doing" or "no, no there"....you call the shots or better yet, you don't call any shots...you just DO it and they will roll with ANYTHING. It's great. I'm proud of you. Let me know if you gave her an anal cream pie and said "ahhhhoooooo I want to see it..." while pulling your dick out.

That's some good shit.


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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:50 pm 
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Yes, she licked her nipples, but I want to tell the story as it happened.

Russ is trying to post part 2 for me. I've been laughing all day about this. :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:26 pm 
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Jsc810 wrote:
then she said she wanted a vibrator. Alas, she lost hers



Maybe she was hoping she could use yours because she ate hers?


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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 9:00 pm 
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I cheat on my wife wrote:
I thought you were married. Divorced?


2nd on this one. What's going on Chip???

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:49 am 
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Sounds like a tale from the Penthouse Letters section

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:50 am 
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This reminds me of a thread about dating sites somebody started a week or two ago. I was going to post in that thread, but forgot. I'm going to go dig that up and tell some of my dating site stories.

Looking forward to part II, Jsc.

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 8:00 am 
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I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually looking forward to part 2.


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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 8:07 am 
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Sounds like Jsc is channeling Jim.


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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 8:20 am 
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Rusty Kuntz wrote:
Sounds like a tale from the Penthouse Letters section


Sounds like you've never been with a fat chick in her 40s.


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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 9:31 am 
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The evening was one to remember, I even laughed to myself at the time knowing that I had to tell the story. PL I could email part 2 to you and maybe it will post here for you, PM your email address to me. I'm guessing there will be 5 or 6 parts to it.

Screw it, I'm going to try posting it again, one sentence at a time and editing the post over and over again, maybe that will work.

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 9:42 am 
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Part 2

On the drive there, she starts talking about my cock, that's what she called it, not penis or member or anything "nice" like you usually hear women talk about it. Cock. And oh was it so nice, and when we got back to her house she was going to suck it and worship it. She got into the dirty talk, nasty talk really, it was beyond what you hear in pron movies, but that's what she was going on and on and on about. She's going to suck my cock

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:47 am 
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This has potential to be POTY material if done right.


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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:58 am 
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If Jsc can get rid of all the disallowed words like "ceiling, mirror, and screaming."

Fukk phpbb, btw.

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 11:39 am 
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The next word in part 2 above is "and."

And I get that fucking error message when I add just that one word. Damnit.

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 11:42 am 
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Let me see if it will post like this now. Part 2 continued ...

..... and then I was going to fuck her hard and then fuck her big tits and then she would suck my cock

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 12:23 pm 
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some more. All the way to the store this was going on.

This isn't my area of the state, and I was lost. She seemed to know the exact directions though. I was kinda expecting a somewhat discrete VIDEO STORE in a run down strip mall, but no, it is a large place with flashing lights and a large sign that said MR. SPANKY'S PORNATORIUM or something like that. I could not believe I was going in there.

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 Post subject: Re: YAFJ, I'm sorry
PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2013 12:25 pm 
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We walk in, and I have to admit that I was surprised at how clean the place was. Sure, there were a few disheveled guys wearing sweat pants and over-sized shirts, but the two workers there were both women, a surprisingly thin and attractive Hispanic and a heavy tattooed and pierced white girl, and even she appeared to have had a shower in the previous day. They had all sorts of stuff, a huge selection

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